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Sharing Knowledge is an important skill to acquire in order to get along with others. But it is a difficult learning process for a toddler.
The child must first be able to resist the temptation to grab objects that are not his. He must also grasp the concept of time to be able to wait to get what he wants. Finally, he must speak well enough to settle the question of who will get what and when, in addition to being able to understand the views of another child.
It is therefore not surprising that learning to share takes time. This is why parents should not expect that a child truly understands the meaning of “sharing” before the age of 4 years.
Sharing at each age
Babies and toddlers only know they want something and they want it right away. They believe that all things are within their reach are theirs. We must first make them understand what is theirs and what is other. They feel threatened when other children touch their toys, especially their teddy, doll or best pack n play
- 18 to 24 months, children do not play together, but they love to play alongside each other. This is the stage of parallel play. Although they like to be around with other children and they want to do the same as them, the little ones want to have their personal space and their own toys. It’s all part of learning of their individuality and their importance. Toddlers have specific rules regarding ownership.
- To 2 years. It was not until the age of 2 years for children to understand that this is their toys, and that is other child’s toys. Nevertheless, they still have difficulty in understanding the concept of temporary loan. Young children do not always manage to make them understand that their latest toy. They find it easier to exchange a toy because they get something in return.
- To 3 years. Children under 3 years are able to share better, but it never lasts very long. They spend much of their time playing to resolve questions such as “who will have what”, “who will do what” and “who is going to play.” This is normal: it is their way of training to acquire the skills needed to build friendships. They also want to understand the rules and how things are going to happen before acting. They like to play with other children and are seeking their presence even though the agreement was short-lived. If at the age of 4, your child still does not cooperate with others and if it is hostile, better get help. Consult your child’s doctor so that he directs you to the appropriate family services located in your area.
- To 4 years. Children of 4 years old are more likely to exchange ideas and toys. They love giving and receiving. Moreover, disputes are less common because children master better and have better language. Therefore, it is easier for them to express their emotions with words rather than with aggressive acts (biting, throwing things, etc.). This is a first sign of maturity.
- To 5 years. To 5 years, children understand a little better the views of the other even if they still have a thought of being centered on themselves. With the help of an adult, they can understand that if an object is valuable to them, it can be the same for another child. They are more attentive to what the other has to say, even if they still lack certain skills to solve their own conflicts with their peers.
How to encourage the child
Here are several tips that will help you teach your child to share:
- Arrange enough space for him to play alongside another child while having room for his own toys and personal activities.
- Be a role model. If you share with him, he will learn to behave the same way with the other and give voluntarily.
As soon as your child can speak, give examples of phrases to help him get in touch with others: “Will you play with me? “” Can you lend me your balloon? “” It’s mine “,” It’s yours, “etc.
- Encourage your child to talk about her own feelings and those of others feel. For example, tell her “you like playing with your doll, you’re happy” or “your friend does not have a toy, he cries, he has trouble.”
- Praise your child when he gives his turn to someone else or when sharing. Describe him the feelings of the other person: “Jonathan is really glad that you bring the ball to play with him “
- If he wants the toy of another child, help him find another interesting object or another activity that pleases him to learn to wait.
- Teach him to exchange: “I have a beautiful doll. I can lend you if you want. What do you give me in return? “
- Name what belongs to your child (clothes, toys, bed, etc.), which belongs to his siblings and what belongs to the whole family (television, soap, etc.). This will help to understand the concept of ownership.
- In case of dispute over a toy, help your child find a solution instead of settling the situation in his place. This will give him the skills to resolve his disputes by itself. If you feel he needs help to get there, offer her a choice: “Do you want to ask him another toy in exchange or you prefer to lend him yours in 5 minutes? “It may well choose the option they prefer.
- When your little one feels overwhelmed in the presence of many children or has difficulty sharing toys, remove it from the situation for a few minutes by offering another activity or another toy.
Here are some strategies to help you reduce conflicts when your child learns to share:
- Do not force your child to play with others if he does not want to. You can, against propose to observe what they do.
- Give him time to find a toy that has just received before asking him to share it.
- Put favorite toys when you know you will welcome other children at home.
- Your child has the right not to share an object that has a sentimental value for him. You protect this right in accordance refusal. By cons, you can encourage him to pay another object.
- Make your child encounters comrades in neutral places, such as parks or playgrounds.
- Avoid situations where it will be exposed to a large number of children. For example, on her birthday, limit the number of guests. Invite the number of children corresponding to the age of your child: 2 friends 2 years, 3 years to 3 friends, etc.
- Be patient
It takes time for children to be prepared to share. Do not punish him when he does not agree with something.